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..Pricks and all.Tube Girl"What the hell is this mist?" Nonus Fistandantalus asked. He wasutterly confused.Nonus had been driving his car when the lights descended upon him fromabove. His car had been pulled from the road and tumbled end over endthrough the sky. He'd been sick. The earth was tiny below him when thelight became blinding and he passed out.Now here he was in this weird glass tube. Breathing in a thick cloyingsmoky mist. It burnt his lungs, made his muscles spasm, made his eyeswater. He doubled over and fell to the plastcrete floor. His skin wasstretching tight. It hurt. Then he was flopping like a fish, strugglingto breath. He had no skeleton!!!! What the hell was happening? He couldfeel his whole body changing, warping, shrinking. But he could not see!Then stuff grew on his chest. Weird weighty bulbous alien things. Hefelt his manhood twist and shrivel and erupt into ridged folds offlesh. They were turning him into one if them! A weird, freakish aliensluglike. One of his descendants was rumored to have growled “and good riddens to all you inbred, know-nothing, reactionary rednecks” before hopping a plane to his new villa in the Alps. Thus, the King family exits stage East, never to enter into this story again.King buttes was slightly off the beaten path (and for Idaho that’s saying something) so the town zoning committee scratched their heads for a decade, mired in buyer’s remorse, until the call for a new high school rang out. The previous high school, the church basement, had unfortunately flooded during a freak moonshine incident and was thenceforth considered olfactorily un-conducive to proper learning. (Though it must be noted, propping the basement door ajar rendered sermons much more palatable.)So, decades later in the present day we find Mary Mincey, junior, former girl scout, five foot six with straight dark hair and an adorable pixie nose daintily making her way up the steps beneath the main entrance labeled S.M. King Buttes High.
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